Too much to feel at once.
Pain, however, is a form of honesty. My heart wanted me to know that I had hurt myself. That something of great value had been damaged, maybe irreparably.
As I learned to listen to the wisdom around me, I also learned to listen to the wisdom inside. When I wake up in the middle of the night and miss her, that's me letting me know that her being there is important to me.
I felt the pain of her honesty with me. When someone you love doesn't want to be around you and tells you why, it hurts.
I was able to share what wasn't working for me. She told me what hurt. I told her what hurt. Honesty clears the air. Now everyone's working with full disclosure. When you're trying to rebuild damaged trust, stick to the truth.
John 8:32 ..."The truth will set you free."
Absolutely!
So now I have a different value for honesty. Like the honesty of a man who explained to me what pornography does to my soul and to the soul of the woman I love. I had been seeking validation of my masculinity, a legitimate need met by counterfeit methods, a dishonest and ultimately ineffective approach. The counterfeit devalues the original by communicating to a magnificent woman that she is not enough.
I also learned the tenderness of honesty. This is great news!! Truth not only exposes what's not working; it also heals, and comforts and reveals what is working. To whatever isn't working, there is balance, and honesty reveals that balance.
Here's some honesty, both strong and tender: She didn't like who I was, but when I was real about it, I didn't either. Today I like myself very much, and that requires neither counterfeit nor denial.
I see eye to eye with the guy in the mirror. Honesty is now my pleasure.
photo by Terry Reid
No comments:
Post a Comment