Skyline V---Sitting Room

Skyline V-------------------Sitting Room  Current mood: preparing  Category: preparing Life I know, right? I love my sitting room! Never had one before. Never sat much. I was always going, always doing. I like the way Tom Voccola puts it: I wasn't so much a human being as a human doing. I think maybe the sitting room was there all along. I just spent so much time in the office or the music room, I never came in here.  I forget what JS calls this blue. It's either 'peace' or 'calm'. No wait, calm is in the storm-room. This one is peace.   I hear things. I hear the world around me. I hear the world inside me.  I like the quietness in the sitting room now, but it used to drive me nuts. For a guy who's used to hearing noise all the time, it's pretty scary sometimes to hear silence. Even when I wasn't really watching, I'd have the TV on just for background noise. To be distracted, immersed in the comfortably chaotic hum of voices and pain besides my own.   Sometimes I hear music in my head from cd's I've listened to or music I heard live at the coffee-shop. I don't even drink coffee but I love that aroma, and the sound of a room-full of buzzing friendships, and the hush that falls when guitar-girl sings about young love and old beauty.   Sometimes I hear music in my head that wasn't from the cd. It's definitely one of my favorite sounds, when the new music comes. I used to think I was making it up. That was back when I thought I was alone up here. Did I ever tell you I'd been living here for years before I realized anybody lived above me? Turns out the guy upstairs is an amazing musician too. Yep, designer and musician. He goes by his initials, J.S. Not sure what it stands for. Yeah, sure I'll get you his contact info. It's in the office.   Sometimes I'd be in the office and hear this music and think I was crazy, and I found out later it was him playing; he's got tons of friends and they get together and play and I hear the bass and guitar and the percussion and the voices. It's good stuff. There's a music room back there down the hall with a sliding panel in the ceiling.  We put the panel in during the remodel so I can hear better. Then I try to play it myself but it never comes out like I hear it. I'm getting better at it, though. Anyways, I'll show you that later.   Since I started using the sitting room, I've noticed a couple things. Silence doesn't frighten me anymore and, I have lots of company now. I'd be going and going and running and doing all day long and never take the time to just hang out with a friend and a cup of tea. Always on the move, hearing the noise,  chasing the noise, running the race, whatever you want to call it. But I'm not gonna preach right now   I'd been hearing his music for a while and then I started trying to copy it and I was pretty good at that so I'd write down the words and sing the songs and people liked them, so I'd write down some more. After a while it got to be rather inconvenient, cause he kept playing at 3 am and I'd have to get out of bed to write them down. I wonder if that's when he played or if he'd been playing all day and I just couldn't hear anything with all the noise. Could be 3 am was the first time all day I'd been quiet enough to hear him.   Back around 2002 or so, I started really paying attention to the stuff I was writing down. I'd begun to suspect he knew I was writing them down. In fact, I started realizing that was his intention. He meant for me to hear them and write them down and show them to the other folks in the building. And I'll admit I felt a little manipulated. Like this whole time he'd been letting me think I was coming up with this stuff and when I found out it wasn't coming from me, I'm not sure why that upset me.  I guess I kind of liked the idea that I was somewhat original.   Thing is, it's really great sharing a song with somebody and having them tell you that it touched them and made a difference to them. And the more I wrote them down, the more I started paying attention to what they were about and then I noticed it was affecting me to sing them. Like, you can't really sing about love and then turn around and be a jackass to somebody you love, right?   Right about that time Merna from 4th pulled me over on the ramp by Mandate school and confronted me about what she called 'lip service'   She said, "are you for real with these songs? Do you mean this stuff?"   And this other guy from 4th told me, "if you were living  your music, the woman you live with wouldn't be so upset. She hears you out on 2nd and 3rdsinging about patience and then she sees you back on 6th being impatient with her, and what she sees doesn't match what she hears…" I don't remember exactly how he put it, but I got the point. That's them right there on the wall of fame, that's Kevin with the funky bass and that's Merna over there with the braids.  Turns out they know JS, too. Small world!   Yeah, back then there was a woman living here on 6th. That's her picture by the fireplace. That's another thing I like about this room—pictures. It's a good place to keep memories of the people I've sat with. People with whom I've shared tea and silence.   You know, there was one time early in '04 everything went silent for a while. Actually, it started around Thanksgiving the year before and went all the way through Valentine's Day. I'm talking absolute silence. Deathly silence. No visitors coming up. I don't know if JS was on vacation, but I couldn't hear him moving around up there. No walking on the ceiling, no music, nothing.   I'd been telling him to shut up cause I didn't like all his live-it-like-you-sing-it stuff. So at first, I was cool with the silence, then a month went and I missed the sound, and then another month and I was a little anxious, and by the end of the third month I was banging on the ceiling like "dude!! play something, I don't care what, just play something, anything!"   You know what I learned then? Silence below is uncomfortable; silence above is unbearable. Silence within lets me hear what's really going on.   When he came back, he said he was just respecting my wishes. I'd asked him to stop bothering me so he did. Now when it gets silent, I check in with him real quick and ask what's the reason and usually he'll tell me. Like right now, we're sitting here so I can be still. Stillness, that's big with him. That quote over there in the corner, that's from one of his books: "Be still and Know."Yeah, he's also a writer. Designer, musician, writer…   More tea?

Skyline IV-----Remodel

Monday, December 31, 2007

I wasn't planning a remodel. It just got too cold in the winter. Several Januaries ago, we moved into a little house in Oregon that let the cold right in. Of course we didn't realize this until we'd moved in, because with the furnace on, the living room was scorching hot and you'd never guess that 20 feet away and around the corner, you could freeze your hands if you stood still long enough. A little investigation revealed there was no insulation in the walls, which we soon stripped to the 2x4's with the intention of simply adding insulation and then closing the walls back up. But as long as you're in there, you might as well do something about that old electrical wiring or the plumbing that puts the kitchen sink right next to the bathroom door. I mean, really? Kitchen sink at the bathroom door? I'm a simple man. At least, I think I am. I've been told I'm complicated, but usually it's a woman telling me that, which is only fair since I find women to be quite complicated themselves. That's a whole different story. I'm not here to talk about women. It's quiet in here tonight. I'm alone on the 6th floor, and over the dim lights I hear fresh water running into my sister's aquarium. I love fish. Not really. But I like looking at them. I went snorkeling in Cozumel, Mexico last week with some people from 3rd and 4th. Good times. Got some awesome (I mean 'innovative') pictures for my walls. They're certainly not bare, my walls. Didn't get any pictures of fish, though. I touched one. I don't know if he thought I was a fish too, but he came right up and touched my hand! I'm not here to talk about fish either. I'm really just stalling for time... It's a little nerve-wracking having you here on this floor. It's easier to tour other floors where we party or work or invest or learn, but this is where I live. If you don't like the colors here, or you think the artwork should be different, I might take it personally. I might feel rejected. If you think the 6th floor isn't good enough, that's a little closer to home. It is home. This is where I wake up. At the end of the day, whether I've danced with strangers or eaten curry lamb and channa with the biologicals, this is where I lay my head. Funny how it seems easier to visit someone else's soul than invite them into your own. But I'm not gonna preach right now. Several Januaries ago, I met this guy from 7th who completely remodeled my floor. I don't take it so personally anymore if you don't like the floor-plan, 'cause I didn't build this one. The one from before with no insulation and the crumbly walls, that was my work.   This new thing is out of my hands. It's ok with me if it's not your style. For some reason it's a lot easier for me to say, "well my designer chose that," or"you know, that color had to grow on me too. He picked it and I just went with it." If it really bugs you and you want to head back to the lobby, I'll walk you to the elevator, or you can talk to the guy upstairs. If, on the other hand, you want to see more, come in, take your shoes off, get comfortable. I'm pretty good with hot chocolate, or tea if you prefer… Listen, I don't even know half of what's in here. I keep finding cool things my designer put in. And the remodel is still in progress. Must be a remodel rule or something—these things take forever. On top of that, I had no idea how huge this place is! There's some weird space-time deal in here that tweaks me every now and then. Every time I think I've seen it, there's a whole new chamber I didn't even know about—could be a little tiny closet, could be a vast, green field. It's like magic, really. Take the red wall in the entry where you left your shoes. (Nice shoes, by the way.) Technically that wall's not red, that's called 'mercy.' These designers and their fancy names. Looks like red to me. You wanna see something trippy? If you get dirt on that wall or mess it up or anything, it'll be new tomorrow morning. Regenerative paint. I swear. New every morning. Try it, get some mud on there. I have no idea how it works. You can come back tomorrow and check it out. Heck, you can stay over if you like to make sure I don't repaint it myself. You should have seen that room before it was mercy. I'm talking about some dirty walls, you know?   Right after the makeover, I used to put dirt on there just to test it out, to see if it really would clean itself up every morning.  I don't try to get it dirty anymore. I just know it works, plus there's way cooler stuff further in, and I don't need to prove it anymore. I try to keep it clean as much as I can, but it's the mudroom, what can I say? Oregonians know about the mudroom. You know what else is weird? How my mudroom's in Oregon and my living room's in Los Angeles. Like I said, 6th floor's a trip. I'll make some tea.  What would you like? Peach Ginger for me. Kristi from 3rdgot it for my birthday.

Skyline III------Biology

Chemistry is exciting. You put things together and colors change, solids vaporize, crystals form, heat and smoke and light and sound! No wonder everyone's looking for a little chemistry!   Physics has solid rules of engagement, requirements like gravity, equal and opposite reaction (you push me, I'll push you back), velocity, acceleration. Business. All Business. Cause and Consequence.   Biology, not so much. Just the meandering study of life, ongoing and physiological. Mundane. Things can explode here too, though you'd rather they didn't.  Bound by all the same laws as Physics, Biology is Chemistry on auto-pilot.   As long as we're talking about subjects, I hated Geography. Ironic that I love to travel. I'll never forget the night before my Geography O'level exam, my Mom stayed up and studied with me all through the night because she knew I hated that subject and would need a little extra push to get over the hurdle. And wouldn't you know it, I got a Distinction! Wouldn't have gotten that without her.   My Dad worked ridiculously hard to take care of his family, so much so I'm not sure he took any breaks in between. I don't recall him saying, I'm too tired—I'm taking some time for myself. Just kept on pushing.   You shouldn't mail apples across country in the summertime—they might not survive the trip. Granola bars will make the trip just fine.  I know what I'm talking about. My sisters mailed me food when I was hungry.   Why am I telling you this? Because if Chemistry missed a whole night of sleep for you, it was probably not to study Geography. And Physics simply won't work that hard for you without a paycheck at the end of month. I love Chemistry as much as the next man. And I understand the obligations and commitments that Physics binds. But when the chips are down, Biology will be there for you.   Chemistry: feeling, romance, what I WANT TO do, dancing with tonight's guest on 6th. Physics: knowing, rules, what I HAVE TO do, business on 2nd and 3rd. Biology: balance, relationship, who I AM, personal mirror, reference library on 5th.     My family lives on the 5th floor. When God sent me here, these people already lived on that floor. They were there when I moved in.  They didn't have to take me in. It's funny how we grow up and grow apart and decide we like people on other floors better. Hmmmm. I'm gonna stop there.     I make more frequent trips to this floor now, to learn about the amazing people who sacrificed so I could have the education that allowed me to articulate my dreams. These incredible people made sacrifices so that I would have resources to pursue my goals.  They hurt every time I failed.   I also remember how important it was to discover the 6th floor.  My family did a good job preparing me to design my own space even though it turned out different in style than the floor I grew up on.  Sometimes there are pressures, both real and perceived, that can leave you feeling like your 6th floor has to look like your  5th.   As much as I love visiting with the amazing people that live there, I am often aware that my interior design is significantly different than the décor on 5.   I remember the awesome joy of freedom to arrange my own values on the walls and stick pushpins in my own mantras for display. I also enjoy the realization that many of my values are simply my paraphrase of  ones hanging on the wall a floor below.   For some people the 5th floor is a frequently visited place of comfort and camaraderie, like a VIP lounge one level higher than Ohana. For others, it's a community service program to which we are sentenced at Thanksgiving and Christmas, a basement of the most specialized tortures.   For me, it's a safe place. I know I am loved here.  I know that whatever happens on other floors, the biologicals will welcome me home.   There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like…the 5th floor...   Next stop 6th…

Skyline II-------Ohana

I learned so much in Hawaii. I learned that orchids by the roadside make a very pleasant driving experience.  I learned that orchids by the roadside make an even better stopping experience.  I learned that although lava moves slowly,  it engulfs and overcomes anything in its path. I learned that nature speaks to me as loudly as any sermon. I learned that I am a hearer of the muse. I learned that excellent customer service is its own reward. I learned that sometimes sand is green. And I learned the power of Ohana. According to Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, "…ohana means family in an extended sense of the term including both blood-related or extended. It emphasizes that family and friends are bound together and members must cooperate and remember one another."   Marcel Schwantes lives on the 4th floor. He entered my building about 8 years ago on the 2nd floor, an acquaintance of an acquaintance. Over the years he has shown amazing generosity and respect for the vision, passion, and purpose of my life.   I openly share my past with anyone. It is, after all, a matter of public record. What's done is done, I cannot change it, nor can it be affected by strangers and acquaintances. I find that my daily trips to the 7th floor result in deeper and better and quicker conections on the 4th floor. My advisors live here. The ones I look to for guidance in steering my future.  I find that advisors are being drawn to me to teach lessons that equip every aspect of my journey.   I learned from Michelle Armstrong that I can rearrange my perception of past events and re-negotiate the beliefs that distilled from those events.  Armed with new beliefs and fresh perspective, it seems I have the power to change the view from the 6th floor. What an interesting idea! That I can rearrange my very building blocks.  That I can see old information with new eyes.   It's exhilarating to meet a stranger who goes directly to the 4th floor. I've known Tom Voccola for a month now, but already he has given me information that impacts my future. In his book, "The Accidental CEO," he introduces the idea of a 'game worth playing.' That resonates with my spirit. I don't just want to play any game well. I want to play a game that I had a hand in creating. A game that is, without question, worth playing.   It's fun moving up. That's the natural progression of relationship. The faster the move, the more thrilling.  1st to 6th in 60seconds,  that whirlwind romance we envy on the big screen. The stranger who invades your soulspace. Be careful not to let anyone higher than they were meant to go, no matter how thrilling the ride. Returning them to the right floor will be painful or impossible.   The 6th floor is a sacred space. Until a few years ago, I thought it was the top of the building. It's where my soul lives. Here I keep my heart. Here my spirit sheds defense, releases protection. I'll tell you more about that later.   I lean on the Ohana, not only to help me decode the messages that come down from 7th, but also for support and strength. I depend so heavily on the 4th floor. These are the ones I confide in, the ones to whom I admit weakness and weariness, these are the ones I count on to hold me accountable. Scott Wilson, phenomenal singer and songwriter, describes the 4th so perfectly in the opening of one of my favorite songs: This is the place I come to dwell…   Here are my warriors, in whose company I feel safe, even when I'm wounded. Many of them hold day passes to the 6th. Some of them have project-duration clearance.  2nd and 3rd floor advice would move someone new into the vacancy on 6th, but 4th floorers temper the wisdom from above with an intimate knowledge of my heart, and recommend instead that I allow daytime consultants to assist and supervise the remodel until it's ready for a new tenant.   For 10 years a woman lived with me on the 6th floor. I was a poor host. That's another story.   To be continued…

Skyline

Last night, driving home from Montebello with Irma and Chris, we rode the 10 freeway past downtown Los Angeles. What a beautiful skyline! Impressive buildings that seem rather imposing in the daytime, blend into a perfect mix against the backdrop of moonlit mountainscape. 

Lately I've imagined my life as a 7-story building. (No, there weren't any drugs involved.) First of all, I'm not made of glass but if I was, I would point out that the sleek, shiny surface belies a steel spine imbedded in  a concrete footprint designed to withstand the California shakes. Not indestructible, but certainly not fragile. 

My initial thoughts have not been so much about construction as about occupancy. Let me give you a tour...

Strangers live on the first floor. On a planet with a population over 6 billion, you must understand that the first floor is magnificently expansive. I see these people everyday and smile. Sometimes they smile back. There's a weird rule on the first floor about strangers not talking to each other. I don't always abide by the rules. If we don't talk, how will I invite you up to the second floor? It is my building, after all. Well, I don't own it, but  I'm the manager. 

Acquaintances live on the second floor. It's really a short climb up the stairwell from first to second. Look someone in the eye and smile. A conversation begins. You find out you have things in common. You begin to realize they're much like you in ways you might not observe at first glance. Next thing you know, they're on the list of familiar faces which bring to your eyes the light of recognition. Next time you see them, it's easier to rejoin the conversation in progress. 

This is where Azin lives. She's the beautiful lady at the cleaners, who went out of her way to have my favorite green shirt ready for an important workshop.

Many of my business relationships live on the first and second floors. The premise of networking, however, is that we would rather do business with our friends. My friends live on the third floor. 

From first to third you can take the stairs of ride the elevator. Have you ever met a stranger who went directly to friend? Ryan Penner did that to me. He just hopped out on the third floor and introduced himself. I had no choice but to let him stay. He brought all his stuff with him. There's a permanence about the third floor. In my building, we promote from within. Once you make it to the third floor, you've demonstrated a desire to move up. Friends seldom go back to being acquaintances or strangers. 

It happens, though. I guess it really comes down to the basis of the friendship. Sometimes acquaintances who know I like to do business with friends will hitch an elevator ride just to get high enough for a sales pitch. I say hitch a ride, because you need an access card to operate elevators or to open stairwell doors.

You can always visit or relocate to lower floors, but to access higher floors you must be accompanied by someone with appropriate clearance.

To apply for higher clearance, you may contact me directly. I live on the 6th floor. 

Hello! My name is Lennox.

To be continued...